Don't Tell

"You're such a good
role model to her", she told me
not knowing about
the missing tasks list
the 20 dollar bill
and the flattened arm rest
She didn't know anything at all.

Che~

"So What?" by Sangeun Ju

People always tell me that I am...
                 exceptionally dull,
                 skillfully incapable,            
                 modestly stuck-up,
                 specially common,
                 pretty ugly,
                 tremendously short,
                 extremely typical,
                 thoughtfully selfish,
                 respectfully impolite,
                 unspeakably loud,
                 fabulously appalling,
                 simply difficult,
                 sincerely dishonest,
                 positively cynical,
                 agreeably stubborn,
                 hellishly pleasant,
                 precisly wrong,
                 considerably inconsiderate
                 timidly over-confident,
                 remarkably insignificant
                 certainly unspecific
                 perfectly imperfect
...and I say, so what?

All that Jazz...

Well, I refused to go to church this morning. Vanessa and Amanda were going to stay for two services, so I stayed home and cleaned the upstairs instead. Vaccuumed everywhere, dusted the living room, and cleaned the bathroom. The dishwasher is going as I speak~
Vanessa and Amanda were obviously upset, but whatever. I'll read my bible instead. xD It's probably about time I did, anyways.
Other than that, I read more of that Breakthrough book I got at the author's conference. There's some really good stuff in there! I'll probably post some of the shorter ones after I finish writing this~
Our parents should be coming home sometime today. Grandpa and Grandma just left to go home, so now I'm alone.
I had fun at metro yesterday, even though we barely got to see Danh. Stupid kid...
Oh well, Teresa bought me lunch at Uncle Willy's and a nice Black Bra. It's 34 C so it doesn't fit as good...I told her it wouldn't fit properly, but she didn't listen! Oh well.
I also got an new poster- Chobits this time. It's a really nice one of both Chi and Dark Chi. ;D
Danh STILL hasn't gotten my a Birthday present. D; He probably never will. -glares-
Puppers is laying outside the window right now. He's so cute~ -is playing on neopets-
Our guild has 47 members now. o.o
I better go before...whatever.

Bye~

Che

Hillsong United~ & Metro

Well the concert was pretty fun! ;D It was outside in the Thunderbird stadium at UBC~
Jessica enjoyed it was well, but I was with Laura most of the time down on the ground. They were all up on the bleachers. I jumped, raised my arm and clapped.
Hillsong weren't what I expected them to look like, but when are they ever? xD
They played all the songs I enjoyed, so I'm pretty satisfied. Now I owe $22 to Teresa and counting...
Take it All was the second song they played, but there was a fast one for the end as well. Apparently the band is from Australia. That's why that one guy who talked had an accent...

Anyways, I brought food with me but only ate one thing. I hoarded one of the watter bottles Jessica had, and ate a chocolate bar Laura bought me.
It's too bad Tú couldn't come, she would've really enjoyed herself. (Even if she isn't Christian)
She phoned last night while I was out, forgetting where I was. I called her back this morning around 8:30am.
We didn't get back last night until 11:30 or so...Everyone didn't get into bed until about 12:15~ I was exhausted. Ugh. I expended all my energy. Lawl.
Laura slept over, and so did Grandpa and Grandma. They're across from me as a speak, looking at houses on the computer. I talked to grandma for awhile this morning.
None of us have seen Michelle and Daniel's baby boy yet. And we still have another shower to go to...Joy.
Tú's mom will be picking me up soon so I can go to metro with her and Danh. Tú's little brother and sister will be coming with us too, apparently. She really wants to eat at Uncle Willy's, so I'll be dragged there. Teehee.
Hopefully Danh won't be late like he usually is. He better buy me my birthday present finally! xD
I can't wait until we go to the states. First weekend of June~

Anyways, that's about all for the update.
Haven't been on gaia for awhile, and I'm talking in a NR Guild on neopets. I'm a freak. -rolls eyes-

Che~

"Instant Misery" by Glen Nelson

You won't find this recipe in any cookbook
But chances are you might take a sip
A morsel
A crumb
Or a gourmet meal

Take one set of parents
Carefully divorced
Make sure not to be polite
It spoils the taste

Add one heated arguement
When boiled, sprinkle pain
Emotional is preferred over physical
Let it simmer

Mix with a rainy day
A birthday with no presents
A loss of friends
And lunch alone in the corner

Finally, dip it in fresh heartbreak
Stir until your eyes sting with tears
Indulge in smoking to wash away troubles
Peel your soul and wait for rock bottom

Serves suicidal thoughts for one

Young Author's Conference

Well, I didn't have to go to school for half a day since Thúy Vi, Crislana, Chelsey, Cheyenne, Florentino and I went to this conference thing at a learning center from 12-3pm.
It was alright. One of the ladies talked about 'showing the story' instead of 'telling the story.'
The guy was boring...reliving past events in a boring way. xDD
I regret I didn't go see the other lady instead.
Oh well, there was lemon seed bread, cookies, water and hot chocolate! ;D
I drew a lot, but Mrs. Truong didn't seem to mind.
I better get that English homework done...

Vanessa just headed off to work. She brought some more awesome bread.
Laura's sleeping over tomorrow, and Teresa can't come to the concert. ;-;
I got this neat little notebad with blank paper to scribble and doodle, as well as the book
with all the poems and things that students entered and got credit for.
There was one really freaky dialogue about two friends.

Anyways, that's all for now~!

Che

"How Come?" by ANON

When I was born I was black.

When I grew up I was black.

When I'm sick I'm black.

When I go out in the sun I'm black.

But you:

When you were born you were pink.

When you grow up you are white.

When you get sick you are green.

When you go out in the sun you are red.

When you go out in the cold you are blue.

When you die you'll turn purple.

And you call me coloured???

The Missing Lid~

Just an add on to my last entry. xD
I just finished raking the grass, but before that (Right after I ate dinner) I coudn't find the lid to the container with the left over ribs.
So my sister and I looked all over the kitchen, wondering where the heck it could've disappeared to.
We even looked in my room, the bathroom and the basement! (Yes, Amanda even checked the toilet...)
After many minutes of confusion and laughter, I had a sudden flashback.
'Oh MY GOSH! Amanda!' I exclaimed.
When she inquired as to what it was I remembered, I'm all
'Guess what?'
'You put it in your bag?' (Hahaha, NO!)
'No...but I remembered when I first took the container out.
And there was saran wrap on there, not a lid!'

So the whole time, we were on a wild goose chase searching for a lid that was never out in the first place.

The end~
xD

Gophers, Fish and Joshua! o.o

I was officially an Aunt to Joshua Rafael Carlos at around 5am this morning.
We also went to the cabin and tried to lure the gophers.
Or plan failed, but we saw them anways.
They seem to like Doritos and cheesies. Apples too.
The lake is all the way up! I was amazed!
The fish are spawning too, althought here's not a lot up the creek yet.
I tried to take good pictures of the, but it's hard with the water interefering.
There's still a couple waterfalls farther up, but the huge canyon thing that was going into the lake is completely underwater now.
HILLSONG concert Friday! It's $22, so Teresa lent me the money. I never finished that paperwork on time...
I'm also going to Metro with Teresa and Danh Saturday. (Hopefully)
Our parents aren't going to be back from Sask. until Sunday I think.
Anyways, I need to keep an eye on supper, so that's all for now.

It's a short entry I know.

Che~

Cabin Tomorrow~

And that paperwork is still sitting on my dad's desk. I'm not supposed to beo n right now. -hides-. Vanessa should be home soon! I hope she brought some good bread that we can take to the cabin tomorrow. Ugh. Dad's PMSing again...arguing about where to pick us up since Amanda will be at Old Yale for her volunteer thing. Geez, making a big deal out of nothing again. Vanessa and Marlene won't be coming, so it'll just be the three of us. Joy. Amanda and I don't even want to go, but after all the arguing, my dad would probably blow if we told him that now. Like Marlene said, while we're their, go outside all day! It'll help to avoid unwanted confrontations. OH!
My meerca changed camouflage! Teehee. Finally something decent.
GAH. I did 37 minutes and something in the 5k today. Ick. Didn't feel like trying after the first 2.5k...Thúy Vi was chastising me again. (I bet she's glaring if she reads this)
Anyways, I finally cleaned up my desk in my room. It was way overdue. I also found some more of Thúy Vi's drawings and put them together in that panda folder. It's getting too fat, I'll have to find a binder to dedicate to her drawings. Lawl. I still need to draw her something good...Ugh.
I just finished watching Smallville. An interesting episode, I must say.
Noooo~ Now Thúy Vi says I have to do math with her! D; D: Ew.
I forgot about that stupid worksheet we got.... >>
I think I handed in yesterday's HW with the other one we handed in today. Now I'll have to do it over again...well the parts I did do anyways. I don't think I finished it. I've been a day behind ever since the test when she gave us all that homework. Hmph.
How many holes are in 'pogo'? FOUR! xD It's retarted, I know. Brandon was talking about this impossible quiz he's taken. I wore Jenny's shirt that she left at our house for PE strip since I forgot mine. Lawl. I guess it came in handy after all.
My driver's licence picture looks stupid. This stupid piece of hair always sticks out...it's so annoying. Oh well.
GAH. Imma go before I get in trouble for being on the computer.

TA!

Che~

"Looking Closely" by Thúy Vi

[Tú] is a majestic creature, yet holds a touch of
catastrophe.
She is a rainbow, but one is rewarded with her
vicious side, as one roams to find the pot of gold.
My friend is a wrap in a delicious candy, but when open,
she is monstrous. So bitter.
Tiny to caress, easy to vex, she's tense.
From Vietnam, chasing the path to Rome, far off
in space to Venus.
She is [one of the] many people who look
approachable.
But in the monotonous and cheating world, in this
reality, in the human race,
people are all not what they seem.
Tables turn.

What You Don't Know

I did this in English as an in-class assignment.
Step 1: Choose 5 letters of the alphabet.
(C, R, S, L, Y)
Step 2: Choose 5 words for each of the 5 letters. (25 words)
Step 3: Make a free verse poem at least 10 lines long using ALL the words.
(Underlined words)
And this is what I got~

You are a complex person.
So young, yet so secretive.
You yearn to lead a complete life,
but a cynical view and regrets
reach you from yesterday.
You're a catastrophe waiting to happen.
Your soulful eyes lack sincere happiness.
Why do you resist?
A coarse heart will become a dusty relic.
Don't be so sour.
Being reclusive will give you only lonliness.
Your armour needs to become more lenient,
but still have that selective quality.
Hurry, before your spirit turns lethargic.

Che~

Sticks and Logs

Oh dear.
Look at that stick in your eye,
dear.

Why thank you,
I hadn't noticed it.

And you feel satisfied,
for having helped to fix
an imperfection.


So how come you can't see
the log in your own
eye?

Fix that first.

Forgiveness

Look at him.
Torn, ragged, bloody, beaten.
Look at how his shoulders droop,
his eyes downcast.

Pathetic.
He will not stand straight.
He will not admit to his treachery.
The stones will teach him.

And all those people
who believed him.
They should be up there too,
with those other sinners.

Then he spoke.
Though only those who chose
to listen
heard him.

You are forgiven.

Tag

i didn't mean to play tag.
well,
actually,
maybe i did

but i didn't realize what it meant
back then
i was only eight years old
and she left

my grief was short-lived
my tears quickly dry
as my family
drew into themselves

or at least
what was left of them.

and now
when i look back
i remember that day
as they put her away

and wondered
why i never missed
her touch
her perfume
her smile
her voice

or maybe it's because
i don't really remember.

I only remember
the memories
of the memories

and back then
when we played
at her funeral
i hadn't realized what it meant.

"The Word Game" by Richard Sommer

by this time i am speaking to the reader
who has found his or her way somehow almost
to the end of this book.

anyone else can read this too,
but i am not really talking with them,
i am talking with people

who got here by a beautiful kind of patience
who got here by beautifully understanding
or who got here by a beautiful kind of anger,

listen, i have a suggestion for a game for you.
write a poem in twenty minutes,
like this one was.

don't leave poetry to the poets,
don't try to write a poem,
write one.

just pick up a pencil & write one.

"From the Inside Out" by Alice Van Wart

The person you see
isonly part of me

she is brave
she is free
she lives
independently.

I can take her places
she fits in easily
her manners exemplary
parents like her
she lies to talk
she has degrees
and always some man
willing to accomodate
the love she gives
generously
but with discrimination.

The other one
I can't take anywhere
she bitches and swears
sees rain in sun
she cannot love
she is the one
behind the eyes.

"Strike" by Ruth Wilson

My son is trying to
figure out why his
dad has gone from driving to
walking about with a
placard saying more money and
why he
always comes home without any

His dad is trying to
figure out where his
son goes every evening with a
tin cup and his toy monkey and
where the
money on his dresser keeps coming from

And I am trying to
figure out how to
explain the union to the boy and
childhood to the man who
doesn't seem to have had one

"The Abundant Life" by Bonnie Day

There's a factory by the side of the river
busily turning out the things-things-things
and it has goods to produce and deliver
regardless of what the future brings.

So the fish must die and the lake grow fetid,
rimmed by a forest where no bird sings,
and as everyone says, it's to be regretted
but who'd want to do without things-things-things?

Youth and Mother's Day~ [Ranting]

Well, youth was good yesterday. Jessica was able to come and we had a pretty good time. It got all serious in the end, because it was 'Merge.' That meant was from grades 6-12, instead of only grades 9-12. I forgot how short I was back then! Anyways, we 'moshed' and played the game. Amanda's friend came as well as she happened to spot her on our way there. She seemed to enjoy herself! AND there's a Hillsong United concert on the 25th! We only have to pay $22! I really want to go, and Jessica's going to try and convince her parents to let her come. However, it's doubtful because she has a tournament on the same day. Oh well, I hope she can make it.

The only unfortunate thing to happen Friday night was getting the inside of my left knee wrecked somehow. I think it was when we were playing that game where you had to carry the person on your back and they tried to get the pieces of tape off the other people's backs. I ended up carrying Amanda's friend, since they chose our groups. She's not that heavy, but after a few minutes of running around with her I guess I did something wrong or stretched it too much. Now it hurts to straighten my leg all the way or bend it in too much. I hope it doesn't hurt too much when I have to walk to and from school on Monday...

I drove for another hour today. It's kind of like a chore, except with my dad ranting at me the whole time of what to do. I'm not very good at it, but I suppose it'll come with time. Tú finally phoned me back from when I called her this morning. I really wanted to visit her today and have fun, but my dad said I couldn't. He said I should've gone earlier, but she wasn't home. Then I asked why and he's all 'You have other things to do tonight.' At first I was really mad because it seems like he ALWAYS says no when I want to go somewhere, but now I realize it's because I still have to make the cake for Marlene along with Vanessa and Amanda.

Teresa was disappointed as well, but she said "I'll just call Myla then." It's really starting to piss me off because it seems every time we want to get together, she just ends up going with Myla. UGH. I hate it when it seems you're being distanced from your friends... Oh well. Hopefully, I'll be able to visit Jessica tomorrow at least. If not, that's life. I still have to do my 'Take home' math test. I wish she just would've let us take it in class. I don't need homework AND tests at home.

Anyways, my dad gave me a little bit of paperwork to do for some extra money. I'll try to get it done this weekend so I can use half of it to pay for the concert. I'll use the other half for Jenny's late B-day present. We still have to go out one day.

Anyways, I guess that's all I have to say for now. I hope I did okay on my PE Health and English tests. I never was one for studying...and now I have to start getting a resume and reference list together if I want to get a job for this summer. AGH. I wish I could stay a kid forever. No age seems quite right though. You don't have as many freedomes and opportunities when you're younger, but you have more responsibilities and things to do when you're older. And my dad thinks I don't know about the 'real world.' HAH. I just act ignorant.

Until tomorrow~ (Hopefully)

Che.

Hello

I said hello to you at the door

But you walked right past,

Your steps just a little fast

And then I saw you no more

A week's gone by, and I said hi,

And forced my hand down

When you didn't turn around.

It looks like you're about to cry.

Years have flown away

When I see your face appear

And hold my breath as you draw near,

As I hear I quiet 'hey.'

Che~

Thursday and the 5K (Hey that rhymes! xD)

Chores, shower, laundry, and 5K. English and PE tests tomorrow. I tried to keep up with Helen And Ranvir, and made it with them for 4 laps. I stopped on the fifth one, and ended up finishing with Thúy Vi. Oh well, I'll try to run the whole thing with them next time! It's made me exhausted and icky. Whoops, got distracted. There we go, my first load of darks is in. I was advised by Amanda not to put my Tuque in the dryer. >> Anyways, they sorted out the whole 'discrepancy' with my driver's licence form thing. Hopefully it'll be in the mail soon and I'll get my real one. <3333>

We're having nachos for dinner tonight~ And it's mother's day soon. We all chipped in $20 for a breadmaker. I can't wait to go shopping in the states. All those clothes, books, accessories...

And my ear pierces at the top as well. Michelle and Daniel don't think it's a good idea, but oh well. I think it'll look good. It's not like I'm piercing my lip or tongue or anything. Geez.

Jessica and I are going to youth tomorrow; we haven't been there in awhile. Since I never got to go to that PJ party on Monday.. (I missed Amanda Falk! D; )

Tomorrow is Friday! Then the weekend! And I'm broke...I considered making a resume and going with Amanda to apply at the dell area, but I'm not so sure. I probably should. Le sigh~

I still have Math homework to do. I'll do it after dinner, along with my shower.

GAH! I looked at Rozefire's deviant art yesterday. I wish I could use photoshop like that. D; Oh well. Still want a tablet...I read this tutorial thing. xp Stupid layers.

Leila still owes me a coloured drawing for my birthday...

And Danh still has to give me my present as well. xD

Maybe I'll watch Spiderman 3 with him as an excuse to see him so I can get it. Lawl.

But anyways, dinner's soon so I better end this. Wish me luck with my HW, chores , and tests.

Bye!

Che~

"Sparkle" by Aesha

"Syaoran, you should believe in fairies," her words still play in his mind. "They only make your wish come true if you believe in them."

He watches as the petals fall off the cherry blossom tree, remembering how radiant her eyes used to be, and how beatific her smiles were.

Eleven years have gone by fleetingly since the day she left. She never came back from the plane like she promised.

I believe in fairies," he murmurs faintly to himself, hoping his wish will come true one day.
Although, he knows with all his heart...

She is never coming back.

Excerpts from "Of the Hourglass" by Aesha

Of the Hourglass

We can never turn back the pages of time;

Though we may wish to relive a happy moment

Or say good-bye just one last time,

We never can

Because the sands of time continue to fall,

And we can't turn the hourglass over.

Love is like a continually shattering mirror that always leaves behind images etched in people’s hearts; but it will itself remain a mystery forever. The heart has reasons that reason doesn't understand.

Love vanquishes time. To lovers, a moment can be eternity; eternity can be the tick of a clock.

Or the sands of an hourglass.

Sometimes we let affection go unspoken. Sometimes we let our love go unexpressed. Sometimes we couldn't find words to tell our feelings, especially towards those we loved the best. And when we've lost that love, we ended up hoping for a second chance to make things right.
But life moved on...

Unrequitedly

Even now,
Love is the only word
that can describe
What I feel
for the person
Who knows me best.

But words are like snakes
Twisting themselves
around my heart.
How can I prove
how much you mean to me
When all Ihave is these.

I could say I'd die for you
But what good is that
When I'm still alive.
All I have is this emotion
that is without limits.

How blind I have been
To not see
That all I have
To offer you with
Is exactly what
I've had all along.

I love you.
Unrequitedly.

Che~

A Piece of Paper by Julia Biggs

I saw this black piece of paper
And it looked
Kind of lonely,
Like it needed someone
To talk to.

So I started to talk.
I told it about
School and trivial things,
And my need
For someone to talk to,

And in return
It told me about trees
And Autumn
And hwere it had come from.

The paper looked sad
When it told me about the
Wind in the trees
And the coming of man
Who had felled the tree,
And I felt ashamed.

Then I got angry.
I had problems enough
Without
Guilt.

I tore up the paper.
I tore up myself.

Can't

'The Book of Virtues' Page 567

"Can't" is a favourite word of some children. Here is the case against it.


Can't is the worst word that's written or spoken;
Doing more harm here than slander and lies;
On it is many a strong spirit broken,
And with it many a good purpose dies.
It springs from the lips of the thoughtless each morning
And robs us of courage we need though the day:
It rings in our ears like a timely sent warning
And laughs when we falter and fall by the way.

Can't is the father of feeble endeavor,
The parent of terror and halfhearted work;
It weakens the efforts of artisans clever,
And makes of the toiler an indolent shirk.
It poisons the soul of a man vision,
It stifles in infancy many a plan;
It greeets honest toiling with open derision
And mocks at the hopes and the dreams of a man.

Can't is a word none should speak without blushin;
To utter it should be a symbol of shame;
Ambition and courage it daily is crushing;
It blights a man's purpose and shortens his am.
Despise it with all of your hatred of error;
Refuse it the lodgement it seeks in your brain;
Arm against it as a creature of terror,
And all that you dream of you someday shall gain.

Posters in English Class

"The geek shall inherit the earth."

"Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character."

"Do you have your pencils? Your books? Your brain?"

Bart Simpson Poster~

"I will not instigate revolution. I will not encourage others to fly. I will not fake my way through life. I will not trade pants with others. Iwill not sell school property. I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers. Organ transplants are best left to the proffesionals. Beans are neither fruit, nor musical. I will not send lard though the mail. I will not hang donuts on my person. I do not have power of attorny over first graders. Never gas is not a toy. I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface. No one wants to hear my armpits. The boys room is not a water park. Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things. I will stop tlking about the 12-inch pianist. I will not belch the national anthem. I will not grease the monkey bars. I will not barf unless I'm sick. I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I will not conduct my own fire drills. I will not perscribe medication. A burmp is not an answer. I will not eat things for money. Goldfish don't bounce. No one is interested in my underpants. I will return the seeing-eye dog. The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy . I will finish what I sta-"

"The Five Stages of Grief" by Linda Pastan

The night I lost you
someone pointed me towards
the Five Stages of Grief.
Go that way, they said,
it's easy, like learning to climb
stairs after the amputation.
And so I climbed.
Denial was first.
I sat down at breakfast
carefully setting the table
for two. I passed you the toast-
you sat there. I passed
you the paper- you hid
behind it.
Anger seemed more familiar.
I burned the toast, snatched
the paper and read the headlines myself.
But they mentioned our departure,
and so I moved on to
Bargaining. What could I exchange
for you? The silence
after storms? My typing fingers?
Before I could decide, Depression
came puffing up, a poor relation
its suitcase tied together
with string. In the suitcase
were bandages for the eyes
and bottles of sleep. I slid
all the way down the stairs
feeling nothing.
And allthe time Hope
falshed on and off
in defective neon.
Hope was a signpost pointing
straight in the airl.
Hope was my uncle's middle name,
he died of it.
After a year I am still climbing,
though my feet slip
on oyur stone face.
The treeline
has long since disappeared;
green is a colour
I have forgotten.
But now I see what I am climbing
towards: Acceptance
written in capital letters,
a special headline:
Acceptance,
its name in lights.
I struggle on,
waving and shouting.
Below, my whole life spreads its surf,
all the landscapes I've ever known
or dreamed of. Below
a fish jumps: the pulse
in your neck.
Acceptance. I finally
reach it.
But something is wrong.
Grief is a circular staircase.
I have lost you.

"Seven Days" by Gary Dunford

in the beginning,
man created the mudhole and the marsh
    damming streams for viaducts
    and routing waters for his own benefit
        waters, white as crystal, moving through trenches
        trickling through makeshift reed piping
        splashing clean into clay bowls
        bubbling to do man's bidding
   and it was the morning and the evening of the first day
   and the seagulls were dying


on the second day,
man created the slaughterhouse and the zoo
    and the wild animals of the earth
    which had wandered at will across the planet
       watched man from behind wire mesh
       scruffy lions with sad faces
       and elephants, their bottoms calloused from sitting on cement
   and it was the morning and the evening of the second day
   and the seagulls were dying


on the third day,
the buffalo disappeared. simply disappeared.
    and across the pampas
    safaris, $495 per person, sought out exotic creatures
    to mount in rec rooms or multiply in cages
        and the ice floes ran red
        and the jungle monkeys reeled in terror
    and it was the morning and the evening of the third day
    and the seagulls were dying


on the fourth day,
man created the sewer and sump
    and pumps to pipe sewer to sump and sump to sewer at incredible
    cost
        to nose and pocket
    and the pumps pumped
    and the sumps drained
    and the sewers flowed
    into creeks and lakes
    and every drop of sewage makes
    an ocean spreading across the world
    the universal apocalypse
and it was the morning and the evening of the fourth day
and the seagulls were dying


on the fifth day,
man crated and canned atomic wastes
and made up the word megaton
    packing the wastes in rusty old drums and concrete caissons
    cramming biological uglies into old trains
        that run on undetermined schedules
        acorss the landscape
and somewhere, sunken tanks of arsenic
are cloaked in barnacles
and rust slowly in salt water
and now and then, on october afternoons
underground explosions occur
and smiling spokesman describe them as necessary and safe
while desert floors collapse
and islands tremble
and the smiling spokesman says
    the san andreas fault
        remains faultless
and it is the morning and the evening of the fifth day
and the seagulls are dying


on the sixth day,
man created the additive
    which differed in name, but never in purpose
    and was gleefully installed in cereals and fertilizers
        soft drinks and cookies
        field and bug sprays
        creams and cosmetics
    it was added to everything man ate or drank
        was added to smokestacks
        and sewage
        and lakes
        and eventually,
        even the additives had additives
     and counter-antidotes to combat the counter-pollutants
     and even the experts gave up explaining
        exactly what the additives were to accomplish
     and it was the morning and the evening of the sixth day
     and the seagulls were dying


on the seventh day,
there was quiet over all the earth
   except for the lapping of waves
   and the bubbling of storm drains
       and the seagulls were dying
       and the plankton
       and the oceans
       and the atmosphere
       and the trees were dying
and man
    rested

"Flight One" by Gwendolyn MacEwen

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen
This is your Captain Speeking.

We are flying at an unknown altitude
And an incalculable speed.
The temperature outside is beyond words.

If you look out your windows you will see
Many ruined cities and enduring seas
But if you wish to sleep please close the blinds.

My navigator has been ill for many years
And we are on Automatic Pilot; regrettably
I cannot forsee our ultimate destination.

Have a pleasant trip.
You may smoke, you may drink, you may dance
You may die.
We may even land oneday.

An Excerpt from "This Lullaby"

Author: Sarah Dessen - Page: 260

Remy: "What's with the camera?"
Dexter: "Defective shipment. Somebody at the main office left the box out in the sun, so they're all warped. Management said we could have them if we wanted them. Kind of like the tangerines, you know. Can't turn down free stuff."
Remy: "But will the pictures even come out?"
Dexter: "Don't know. They might or they might not."
Remy: "They won't. The film's probably ruined from the heat."
Dexter: "Or maybe it isn't. Maybe it's just fine. We won't know until we develop it."
Remy: "But it's probably a total waste. Why bother?"
Dexter: "That's the big question, isn't it? That's the whole problem here. I think they just might come out. Maybe they won't be perfect - I mean, they could be blurred, or cut off int he middle - but I'm thinking it's worth a shot. That's just me, though.
Remy: (Thinking) "Maybe he would print out the pictures and find them perfect: my face, my feet, Joie rising up behind me. Or maybe it would just be black, void of light, not even an outline of a face or figure visible. That was the problem, after all. I wouldn't waste the time on such odds, while he jumped to them. People like Dexter followed risks the way dogs followed smells, thinking only of what could lie ahead and never logically of what probably did. It was good we were friends, and only that. If even that. We never would have lasted. Not a chance.

I got his little metaphor.

Quotes- 1

"One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you."
-Larry Gelbart
"I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."
-Ludwig Wittgenstein
"Life must be understood backwards; but... it must be lived forward."
-Soren Kierkegaard
"We live in a rainbow of chaos."
-Paul Cezanne
"I like children - fried."
-W. C. Fields
"Miracles exist - it's the belief in them that is becoming extinct."
-Julianne Threlfall
"Generosity is giving more than you can and pride is taking less than you need."
-Kim N.
"Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times."
-Anonymous
"The wises mind has something yet to learn"
-George Santayana
"A word to the wise ain't necessary- it's the stupid ones that need advice."
-Bill Cosby
"A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B."
-Fats Domino
"Love is not something you learn, love is something you know but do not realize until you find it.."
-Rebecca Jenerou
"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." (Madam Marie Curie 1867 ? 1934)
-Bonita
"Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others."
- Jonathan Winters
"It takes two to speak the truth - one to speak and another to hear."
-Henry David Thoreau
"Love is not a victory march.."
- 'Hallelujah' by Rufus Wainwright
"Sometimes there are things better left unsaid, but our body betrays us and tells a little bit anyway, [with tears]."
-Kagome from 'Linear Process'
"He would protect her until there was nothing left to protect."
-Sesshoumaru from 'Linear Process'
"His trust. He would never trust her with his life. He would never trust her with his secrets. He would never trust her with his memories. He would never trust her with his love. [He] called to her ,and she...ran to his side, forever obedient. Forever loving. Forever his."
-Kagome from 'Linear Process'
"He was her saviour for a time that she hadn't been meant for; for a time that she hadn't been made to understand."
-Kagome from 'Linear Process'
"...and she met the ground with a dull thud. 'Why do you even bother getting back up?' He asked, genuinely curious. [She] wondered about the answer to his question-and why she didn't have one."
-Sesshoumaru and Kagome from 'Linear Process'
"The world belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
-Anonymous
"LIfe is a jigsaw puzzle, and the people are the litte pieces."
-Lynne Ferguson from 'To the Friend I Broke Up With'
"And the jagged little edges just wouldn't fit together...but isn't it against the rules to cut up the pieces so that they fit together?"
-'To the Friends that I broke up with' by Lynne Ferguson
"Succeed and give, it helps you live, but no man can help you die."
-Ella Wilcox from 'Solitude'
"And maybe it didn't matter so much whether he took the step or I did."
-Remy from 'This Lullaby' by Sarah Dessen
"Don't say it. Hell, don't even think it, I can hear you from here!"
-Unkown-Fanfic
"The songs of the dead are the lamentations of the living."
-Eragon from 'Eragon'
"I gave her hope. And you gave her a future."
-Saphira from 'Eragon'
"About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him...that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."
-Isabella from 'Twilight' by Stephanie Meyer
"Life makes sense, and who could doubt it, if we have no doubt about it."
-'Making Sense' by Piet Hein
"Morning is a new sheet of paper to write on."
-'Metaphor' by Eve Merriam
"And this is love: two souls that freely meet and have no need of proving anything..."
-'And this is love' by Paula Reingold
"...I wonder if I ever belonged here in the first place."
-Jenny Hutchinson
"A heart is a home for love, and isn't home where the heart is? Hearts break, houses fall."
-'A House or a heart?' by Laura Merrison
"People deal when life sucks. How 'bout another hand?"
-'A House or a heart?' by Laura Merrison
"So what happened to the pain, the sorrow? It blew away with the wind, but left the memories...it left the happiness and love. That's all the matters."
-'A House or a heart?' by Laura Merrison
"A heart that's been broken has a tiny hinge...it just swings open and shut like a gate."
-'A heart that has been broken' by Maureen Owen
"For us it was necessary to invent a darkness, in order to subract the light in order to see..."
-'Letter to a Future Generation' by Gwendolyn MacEwen
"I can taste the sweetness of the past."
-'Four Seasons' by Namie Amuro
"My world is made of dreams, love, and worries. But there are still things lying hiddeen that I can't even imagine."
-'Purachina' by Sakamoto Ma'aya- Iwasato Hiroko
"Wake up right now. Soon we seem to be surrounded by the real world choking us."
-'Grip' by Every little thing
"Please teach me how to live a little more vulnerable than I do now. Won't you taint me just a little? ...this song of truth shall be my guide."
-'Shinjitsu no Uta' by Do as Infinity
"It would be nice if we could put away and throw everything except what really mattered, but reality is just cruel."
-'Dearest' by Ayumi Hamasaki
"Back then, when we met, it was all akward. We went the long way, didn't we? We got there in the end."
-'Dearest' by Ayumi Hamasaki
"Let's search for and gather the shards of dreams, even if we're sad."
-'I am' from Inuyasha
"Chaos never changes; it only evolves."
-'Dynast Dyne' from The Tale of the Seven Wings
"Hey look, it's not like I want to kill people. They just come, and, well, I can't deny their death wish can I?"
-'Dynast Dyne' from The Tale of the Seven Wings
"Erm, it's not my business or anything, but isn't 'ultimate doom', you know, kinda bad?"
-'Elesyne' from Tale of the Seven Wings
"Sometimes, the deepest darkness is all we need, to find the purest light within."
-Fyne from 'Tale of the Seven Wings'
"There's a place somewhere out there, where the sun won't blind your eyes and your dreams come true. The key to it is your will to risk it and start searching."
-Nurul from 'Clipped Wings, The Rise of the Four'
"I hate this world beyond words...but I hate it more when we do nothing about it."
-Joe from Unkown
"Judging someone for what we see is easy. Accepting them for what they are is not."
-Malum from 'Teaching Affair'
"Finding knowledge isn't easy. Knowing what do do with it is even harder."
-Victoria from "Teaching Affair'
"It's amazing all we're capable of doing just to reach a universally accepted lie."
-Matt from 'Ashes'
"It is better to be called a fool than to open your mouth and become one."
-The Bible
"Appearances are made to decieve the mind."
-Tala from 'Learning to Fly'
"A name does not make you who you are. If you set yourself to be what others call you, than you truly are a pathetic creature..."
-Sesshoumaru from 'Wistful Thoughts, Cherished Dreams'
"For someone so smart, your awefully stupid sometimes."
-Dranzer from 'Flight of the Black Dragon'
"I'll have you know that I hate you, and it is indeed quite personal."
-Riley from 'Against all Authority'
"Light will cast a shadow, but a shadow itself is an abomination."
-Shoutan from 'Sailor Nothing'
"Truth is prepacked in pieces, and everybody gets one- just not the one they wanted."
-Random Thought from 'Sailor Nothing'
"The ancient samurai wrote ware poetry to meditate upon their problems. Monks sit under a freezing waterfall to focus their thoughts. I play Dance Dance Revolution"
-Shoutan from 'Sailor Nothing'

Tuesday, Oh Tuesday

And I still have that gosh forsaken English homework to do...

Well, my sister will be having her baby in a couple of weeks, so I'll officially be an aunt. I just got over my cold on the weekend. Thank goodness we had Friday off. I've managed to actually persuade myself to try and do some homework, so I just squeaked in those 3 A's for my academic subjects. I figure a B for PhysEd is pretty good considering my athletic ability. (Non-existent) I still wish I could take yearbook/media arts next year, but sadly I have no room. French and PE (or Dance) is more of a priority because I need one to get into university, and the other to go towards my porfolio. Darn those 80 hours of physical activity...they should let walking count. I mean, I do it 40 minutes each way to and from school.

Mother's day is coming up soon. I sitll owe my dad that $20 to go towards my mom's breadmaker. She's our ultimate baker. I finally spent my gift certificates for Black Bonds and got Wallflower 11 and Negima 12. I had to skip Vol. 10 of Wallflower, because they didn't have it. Oh well, I'll get it when we go down to the states at the beginning of June. Ah, that reminds me! Also for our birthdays, (belated) Amanda and I are going to get the top of our left ear pierced. I know it'll hurt, but I want it anyways. I don't think I'll get my bellybutton done though. I wouldn't even really consider anything else.

Jenny and I are supposed to go out soon for our birthdays. She's going to treat me to a meal at this Jade restaurant. She got her 'vamps' done recently. Two rings on either side of her lower lip. I wouldn't get it, but each to their own. She said she's not going to get anything else done. Tú's sweet sixteen is coming up at the beginning of June as well. I'll have to make sure to plan the trip to the states and her party so I don't miss one. If I don't come to her party I'll be in her bad books for weeks...

My birthday part went pretty well. Thúy Vi was a little moody at some parts, but oh well. She was in an okay mood today. She still owes me two more glomps! OH! I found some nice manga scanlations of a new series called 'Yaya'. I'm pretty sure it's Korean. You can tell by the names, and especially the Korean writing since my friend Ji Hye taught me a few syllables. I want to travel to Asia one day... Amanda wants to get a digital camera now. I guess after using mine a few times, she really wanted to get one of her own. I knew she wouuld eventually. I love mine~

I'm attempting to write fanfiction again. I have a vague idea for one, but I've yet to think of a good title or an actual plot...I just have random events floating around in my head that I'll somehow stick together. Oh dear. I'd have to say that my favourite Sessh/Kag pairing fanfic is still Tales from the House of the Moon. Although, I've read a few others that are pretty good as well. Drabbles are also very refreshing to read. They're short and powerful. Either that, or really funny. I tried reading a few Wallflower fanfics, but it's not very popular I guess so the few out there aren't the greatest. Oh well.

I think I'll have to get a part time job this summer. I think I'll apply at the dell like Amanda. Either the pet store, pharmasave, or perhaps dollar giant. Who knows. The only good thing is you don't need to get an application form. All you have to do is hand in your resume. I wonder how good of a chance I have? The only jobs I've been paid for is from the 3-day fair in Saanich and from babysitting. Joy.

I haven't been on gaia lately, although I still like to go to a thread in the FC to talk to a few friends.

Amanda and I got our L licence about a week ago. I just got my first 1.5 hours of driving experience on Sunday. While I was still sick no less. It was an interesting experience to say the least. I can't believe so many of the people I know from class failed the written test more than once. Pathetic. I read the book once and passed with 91%. Maybe it's that photographic memory I have.

I really want to watch Spiderman 3, Shrek 3, and Pirates of the Carribbean 3. Jessica and I are planning a movie night, since we couldn't last weekend because I was sick. She said she might go Friday, so I'll have to ask if I can skip youth to go. What do you figure my chances are?

Anyways, I'm too lazy to write any more though there's a lot I could say. Until tomorrow.

Che~