“An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” Capital punishment is a leading way of freedom and justice to many countries. It is the belief that if a human takes away a life, then their life should be taken away as well. We cannot live in a proper world where criminals with sick, twisted natures, are released from prison, or be sentenced to a simple life imprisonment. To rid evil from society and protect the innocent people, death penalty should be the only punishment used against the most extreme offenders. It is the salvation for mourning families; it has good reasons to exist, and solves many problems.
Criminals not only leave scars on their victims, but also create wounds amongst the families. Friends or family of these victims only want to seek understanding, and how certain people can hurt or kill someone they love so much. What is a death penalty, first of all? It is when a government takes the life of a person as punishment for their crime; another term for this is capital punishment. This is the most successful and appropriate way for crimes to be punished. It helps bring equity to broken-hearted families for the offender’s wrong doings, and helps to suppress their feelings of anguish, anger and helplessness. They are like us and the people we’ve come home to; the people we love and cherish, and people who shape our lives. Do you want those loved ones to die without any meaning or cause, but only because a person committed a crime against them? The families too, are victims of these tragic events. Capital punishment is the answer to emotional closures. It removes the suffering, and provides families the ability to move on with their life.
There are many reasons to for death penalties to continue on in the future.
There is a positive outlook for capital punishment or death penalties; they create a strong barrier, a shield against offenders. This supreme punishment protects innocent lives and leaves the other people who have done terrible mistakes to be killed. Therefore, the rest of society does not need to face such a circumstance. It is similar in the time of war, where people do not mind killing others to protect our country from danger. So capital punishment is the same, but it is protecting the citizens from felonies. If we let them get away with murder without any severe consequences for their horrendous acts, then it is likely for them to do it again. “Once a killer, is always a killer.” Who are they to decide whether or not a human should die or live? Criminals have no regards to life and do not understand the importance of it, so they should face their responsibilities of their murders as death. Also, we cannot assume that all awful convicts will have understanding or concerns at all about their cruelty behaviour on others or recover from rehab. A risk factor of these situations should not be taken lightly, and a small chance may have the remaining population be endangered. Is it necessary for these unwanted murderers to receive another chance in life?
Some of you may think death penalties are harsh and very unreasonable for humans to take it in as punishment. But for serious cases such as murder, rape, torture and mutilation, isn’t it degrading for these criminals to be simply locked up in jail? I strongly disagree. That is mocking the court’s purpose, denying justice to survivors and dishonouring families greatly. An ultimate crime must face an ultimate punishment. It is worse enough that criminals are sent to life in jail with improvement in prison conditions. They can live easily well with good bedding, recreation, visiting hours and phone calls, and also a chance for parole or lighter sentences. If you were a scarred survivor, a family member who lost their significant one or anyone would seeks fairness in society, it is disgusting to see murderers not suffering for the cost of their actions. Life imprisonment as well hurts the economy. The criminals having to be sentenced a lifetime is very high in cost, for food, bedding, etc. Since there are many terrible crimes being done over and over, the cost accumulates as the prisoners rot in jail. This money can be used for an alternative way instead, if capital punishment was accepted to the public.
People against death penalties cries out negatively that it kills innocent people and does not reduce crime. But during the year of 2003, Emory University Economics Department Chairman Hashem and Clemson U. Professor Sheperd found that executions do discourage murder and murder rates only increase because of the authorized long delay of executions. Many surveys may be misleading. They can interpret information and make purposely-poor judgment on things such as death penalty. If it is said that capital punishment does not lower crime rates, then prison should be removed as well. Having this type of powerful punishment, innocent people being killed can be a minor factor to worry about. But no systems can be extremely perfect and such things happen, are part of the process as well. If a prisoner is found to be innocent before execution, then the system is proving to work very efficiently and is improving. With today’s modern technology, death penalties and capital punishment can lessen the chance of people being found guilty by DNA analysis. We cannot abandon the ultimate punishment because of small reasons. Do we ban cars because there are countless killing of innocent civilians from traffic accidents?
Criminals are humans to our society, but if they take pleasure in overwhelming our world with horrendous acts, do you think it’s humane? Do you think its fairness to innocent people who wanted to live? Death penalty or capital punishment can only bring solid meaning of justice for those who cry for help.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Choose Life; Your Mother Did
“Fourty-six million “unwanted” children have been eliminated since 1973.” An unborn baby is killed every twenty seconds. Ninety-three percent of these are aborted for social reasons; the child was unwanted, or inconvenient. For years, abortion has remained one of the most controversial issues in history. There are two sides: “pro-choice”, and “pro-life. What I want to show you, is that getting rid of your unborn child is simply inhumane. A baby, no matter how old, is a human being, and nobody has a right to decide whether it should live or die.
All women have their own reason for getting an abortion. According to statistics, however, the main reason women have abortions is because the child is simply unwanted. As it was earlier stated, 93% of abortions happen for social reasons. More women who are financially stable are getting abortions compared to the ones who can barely support themselves. Only 6% of abortions are related to health problems for either the child or mother, and just 1% is because of rape or incest. What this tells us is that unborn children are being “eliminated” simply because the mother doesn’t want to take on the responsibility. Since about 52% of the women who are getting abortions are under 25, 64% of these women never been married. Casual sex is a big factor that can lead up to abortion, but it still comes down to the fact that it’s the woman who decides she isn’t ready for a child. Or rather, she decides that that child doesn’t have the choice on whether it wants to live or die. If you have unprotected sex outside of marriage or a stable relationship, then you have to accept the fact that becoming pregnant is inevitable. When you decide to abort your child, you’re blaming your mistakes on that little girl or boy. Even if you can’t afford to support a child, or the environment you’re in isn’t ideal, there are always other options. If you really cannot bring yourself to take care of your child, then put it up for adoption! There are so many people that are unable to have children that would love the oppertunity. To take fertility for granted, or even deeming it troublesome would be like slapping the infertile in the face. Giving birth isn’t going to be the end of your life. It may be your body, but it’s also your child’s very life at stake.
Daniel Oliver, a senior director at the White House Writer’s Group in Washington, D.C. accurately states that “The first and central issue in the abortion debate is whether the fetus is a person.” A lot of women can justify getting an abortion because they believe that it isn’t a human they’re killing; it’s simply a “fetus”: extra tissue growing in their body. Society agrees that human life starts once the child is outside of the womb, though they cannot really prove either case. Life is life, and the baby inside of a woman is certainly a living, growing creature, no matter what you want to call it. Fetuses have recognizable human parts only mere weeks after a woman gets pregnant. Mr. Oliver goes on to say that “If life is only what we say it is, and begins only when we say it does, then…we can say anything we like and can never be incorrect. We could say life begins when a child turns two.” In 1873, a suffragist leader named Elizabeth Stantion said that “when we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit.” People seem to ignore the Precautionary Principle of “when it doubt, take no chance of killing a human being. So if that “fetus” inside of you is human and you’re getting an abortion, you’re committing murder.
Finally, there is something called “Post Abortion Syndrome” that many women have experienced. Although many studies deny PAS, they are false for two reasons. One: There is usually about a 5-year delay before the symptons show. Two: The woman in question would obviously deny feeling guilty or depressed about something she’s done. She would want to forget the abortion, not dwell on the grief it is causing her years later. Casey, a university graduate with a degree in psychology has extensively studied many patients who have experienced “psychological complications” because they had an abortion. Shortly after having an abortion, the women’s initial reaction is, predictably, relief. However, about 20% of these women may be presented with anxiety and guilt for several weeks or months, two years after their abortion. About 10-20% of women receive further symptoms, such as insomnia, crying, panic attacks, and other anxiety related problems. More and more women who have had abortions are experiencing this illness.
Overall, women should not be getting rid of their unborn child for any reason, except if there are fatal complications to the mother. Even though the baby is still inside its mother’s womb, it is a living, breathing part of her. Defining it as “not-a-person” is just another form of discrimination. The “fetus” is a human being, no matter what stage of life it is it. Even if your child isn’t perfect, you have no right to lower that human’s personal value. It’s your body, but it’s someone’s life. That someone you’re going to kill would’ve been a friend, mother, or perhaps a wife or husband. A child is not a right; it’s a responsibility. Therefore, you don’t have “the right” to kill an innocent human being. They have the right to life, and you have the responsibility of giving them that choice.
All women have their own reason for getting an abortion. According to statistics, however, the main reason women have abortions is because the child is simply unwanted. As it was earlier stated, 93% of abortions happen for social reasons. More women who are financially stable are getting abortions compared to the ones who can barely support themselves. Only 6% of abortions are related to health problems for either the child or mother, and just 1% is because of rape or incest. What this tells us is that unborn children are being “eliminated” simply because the mother doesn’t want to take on the responsibility. Since about 52% of the women who are getting abortions are under 25, 64% of these women never been married. Casual sex is a big factor that can lead up to abortion, but it still comes down to the fact that it’s the woman who decides she isn’t ready for a child. Or rather, she decides that that child doesn’t have the choice on whether it wants to live or die. If you have unprotected sex outside of marriage or a stable relationship, then you have to accept the fact that becoming pregnant is inevitable. When you decide to abort your child, you’re blaming your mistakes on that little girl or boy. Even if you can’t afford to support a child, or the environment you’re in isn’t ideal, there are always other options. If you really cannot bring yourself to take care of your child, then put it up for adoption! There are so many people that are unable to have children that would love the oppertunity. To take fertility for granted, or even deeming it troublesome would be like slapping the infertile in the face. Giving birth isn’t going to be the end of your life. It may be your body, but it’s also your child’s very life at stake.
Daniel Oliver, a senior director at the White House Writer’s Group in Washington, D.C. accurately states that “The first and central issue in the abortion debate is whether the fetus is a person.” A lot of women can justify getting an abortion because they believe that it isn’t a human they’re killing; it’s simply a “fetus”: extra tissue growing in their body. Society agrees that human life starts once the child is outside of the womb, though they cannot really prove either case. Life is life, and the baby inside of a woman is certainly a living, growing creature, no matter what you want to call it. Fetuses have recognizable human parts only mere weeks after a woman gets pregnant. Mr. Oliver goes on to say that “If life is only what we say it is, and begins only when we say it does, then…we can say anything we like and can never be incorrect. We could say life begins when a child turns two.” In 1873, a suffragist leader named Elizabeth Stantion said that “when we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit.” People seem to ignore the Precautionary Principle of “when it doubt, take no chance of killing a human being. So if that “fetus” inside of you is human and you’re getting an abortion, you’re committing murder.
Finally, there is something called “Post Abortion Syndrome” that many women have experienced. Although many studies deny PAS, they are false for two reasons. One: There is usually about a 5-year delay before the symptons show. Two: The woman in question would obviously deny feeling guilty or depressed about something she’s done. She would want to forget the abortion, not dwell on the grief it is causing her years later. Casey, a university graduate with a degree in psychology has extensively studied many patients who have experienced “psychological complications” because they had an abortion. Shortly after having an abortion, the women’s initial reaction is, predictably, relief. However, about 20% of these women may be presented with anxiety and guilt for several weeks or months, two years after their abortion. About 10-20% of women receive further symptoms, such as insomnia, crying, panic attacks, and other anxiety related problems. More and more women who have had abortions are experiencing this illness.
Overall, women should not be getting rid of their unborn child for any reason, except if there are fatal complications to the mother. Even though the baby is still inside its mother’s womb, it is a living, breathing part of her. Defining it as “not-a-person” is just another form of discrimination. The “fetus” is a human being, no matter what stage of life it is it. Even if your child isn’t perfect, you have no right to lower that human’s personal value. It’s your body, but it’s someone’s life. That someone you’re going to kill would’ve been a friend, mother, or perhaps a wife or husband. A child is not a right; it’s a responsibility. Therefore, you don’t have “the right” to kill an innocent human being. They have the right to life, and you have the responsibility of giving them that choice.
PRO-LIFE vs. PRO-CHOICE
Yeah, so I think fetuses, are in fact, human beings. Don't be discriminating against them now. D<>
Give them a chance, please.
I mean, it's not their fault they were born in the womb that didn't want them.
Choose life; your mother did. [/cliche moment]
-Che
Give them a chance, please.
I mean, it's not their fault they were born in the womb that didn't want them.
Choose life; your mother did. [/cliche moment]
-Che
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Thúy Vi-chan
Having a “best” friend is something that most of us claim, although I’m not sure that’s the right term to use in my case. To me, your best friend isn’t the one who you get along with the most, or get the best gifts from. It isn’t someone who is similar to you, or hangs out with you all the time. A best friend is the person that’s always in the back of your mind, and often at the front. My closest friend and I are always disappointing each other, and our relationship is far from perfect. However, she’s the kind of person you can’t help but love, despite her somewhat radical personality. She is genuine with her words and feelings, loyal, and has an irresistible childlike innocence. Although we’ve had many rough times, my best friend is most definitely Thúy Vi-chan.
Mary Anne, or Thúy Vi, is always genuine because she’s honest, to the point, and never pretends to be someone she’s not. She isn’t afraid to tell you what she thinks, whether it’s positive or not. Furthermore, she’ll criticize you if you need it, or encourage you if you feel like giving up. Thúy Vi is a very straightforward person. She doesn’t bother with forced cheerfulness or fake pity. On the other hand, if she’s feeling down, she’ll tell you, and when she’s happy, you’ll be showered with grins. Thúy Vi isn’t afraid to disagree with you. She tends to have different tastes than me, but we still manage to get along. A lot of times though, I’ll love something she scoffs at. Thúy Vi’s always sure to let you know about something she’s excited about. Moreover, nobody could change her if they wanted to, because she isn’t interested in being different for other people. She’s actually a very emotional person, with a hot-cold personality. Thus, her feelings are always intense, and sometimes very short-lived. Thúy Vi’s present mood will affect the whole room. Although this can drive me crazy, I’ve found ways to perk her up. A joyful Thúy Vi is an event that will make your day.
Thúy Vi is loyal in the way that she stands by you in troubled times, is always willing to forgive you, and doesn’t talk poorly about you to other people. She’s that person you’ll want on your side when things get hard. If you stand up for her, she’ll always be there for you. Even though we’ve had had countless fights, she still remains by my side. As a result, Thúy Vi’s forgiveness is valuable, as it coincides with her loyalty. You don’t have to worry about her talking about you behind your back; she’ll just say it to your face. She’s there for you in the bad times and the good. Therefore, If someone has hurt you, she makes a wonderful defender. Thúy Vi doesn’t judge you by your appearance or morals, and if you tell her something personal, she’ll keep it to herself. Even after knowing all your flaws and dirty habits, she accepts you for who you are. As you can see, Thúy Vi isn’t the kind of person who betrays a friend for petty reasons.
Thúy Vi has always had child-like traits that draw me towards her. Like a child, she is easily affected by her environment, sometimes simple-minded, and at times, easily fooled. She appears to be a sensitive and somewhat gullible person. Not the quickest on jokes, Thúy Vi sometimes feels naive in a lot of areas. She likes keeping it simple, and is amused by the silliest things. She can only be described as “cute”, and is always making ridiculous expressions. Thúy Vi is also shy, like when it comes to talking to strangers. She sometimes doesn’t have very good self-esteem. On the other hand, she is a child in the way that she soaks up everything around her. She’s constantly asking questions, and is curious about society and its ideas. Her dreams are always big, and she aims high. Accordingly, Thúy Vi likes being good at things, and enjoys having people proud of her. Like a child, she wants to know that she’s doing a good job. And although her sensitive nature sometimes gets the best of her, Thúy Vi’s vulnerability is something that makes me want to be there for her. Her child-like qualities inspire me to become a better person, so I can be a good role model for her.
Even though it is said that people unconsciously look for a part of themselves in others, our vast differences have drawn us closer together. My best friend is someone that I want to know more and more every day, and the trust she’s invested in me makes that possible. Thúy Vi is the person I worry about the most, and she’s always in my thoughts. Our memories together over the years have helped shape me into the person I am today, and she is just as much a part of me as I am of her. We have laughed, cried, and learned together all throughout our teenage years. Thúy Vi will always be a best friend to me, even if we have to part ways.
Mary Anne, or Thúy Vi, is always genuine because she’s honest, to the point, and never pretends to be someone she’s not. She isn’t afraid to tell you what she thinks, whether it’s positive or not. Furthermore, she’ll criticize you if you need it, or encourage you if you feel like giving up. Thúy Vi is a very straightforward person. She doesn’t bother with forced cheerfulness or fake pity. On the other hand, if she’s feeling down, she’ll tell you, and when she’s happy, you’ll be showered with grins. Thúy Vi isn’t afraid to disagree with you. She tends to have different tastes than me, but we still manage to get along. A lot of times though, I’ll love something she scoffs at. Thúy Vi’s always sure to let you know about something she’s excited about. Moreover, nobody could change her if they wanted to, because she isn’t interested in being different for other people. She’s actually a very emotional person, with a hot-cold personality. Thus, her feelings are always intense, and sometimes very short-lived. Thúy Vi’s present mood will affect the whole room. Although this can drive me crazy, I’ve found ways to perk her up. A joyful Thúy Vi is an event that will make your day.
Thúy Vi is loyal in the way that she stands by you in troubled times, is always willing to forgive you, and doesn’t talk poorly about you to other people. She’s that person you’ll want on your side when things get hard. If you stand up for her, she’ll always be there for you. Even though we’ve had had countless fights, she still remains by my side. As a result, Thúy Vi’s forgiveness is valuable, as it coincides with her loyalty. You don’t have to worry about her talking about you behind your back; she’ll just say it to your face. She’s there for you in the bad times and the good. Therefore, If someone has hurt you, she makes a wonderful defender. Thúy Vi doesn’t judge you by your appearance or morals, and if you tell her something personal, she’ll keep it to herself. Even after knowing all your flaws and dirty habits, she accepts you for who you are. As you can see, Thúy Vi isn’t the kind of person who betrays a friend for petty reasons.
Thúy Vi has always had child-like traits that draw me towards her. Like a child, she is easily affected by her environment, sometimes simple-minded, and at times, easily fooled. She appears to be a sensitive and somewhat gullible person. Not the quickest on jokes, Thúy Vi sometimes feels naive in a lot of areas. She likes keeping it simple, and is amused by the silliest things. She can only be described as “cute”, and is always making ridiculous expressions. Thúy Vi is also shy, like when it comes to talking to strangers. She sometimes doesn’t have very good self-esteem. On the other hand, she is a child in the way that she soaks up everything around her. She’s constantly asking questions, and is curious about society and its ideas. Her dreams are always big, and she aims high. Accordingly, Thúy Vi likes being good at things, and enjoys having people proud of her. Like a child, she wants to know that she’s doing a good job. And although her sensitive nature sometimes gets the best of her, Thúy Vi’s vulnerability is something that makes me want to be there for her. Her child-like qualities inspire me to become a better person, so I can be a good role model for her.
Even though it is said that people unconsciously look for a part of themselves in others, our vast differences have drawn us closer together. My best friend is someone that I want to know more and more every day, and the trust she’s invested in me makes that possible. Thúy Vi is the person I worry about the most, and she’s always in my thoughts. Our memories together over the years have helped shape me into the person I am today, and she is just as much a part of me as I am of her. We have laughed, cried, and learned together all throughout our teenage years. Thúy Vi will always be a best friend to me, even if we have to part ways.
Excerpt from Ties of Blood-Ch. 14 by vegita-dias
"I know that you can be cruel and I think, in fact, that you are also exceptionally selfish, which is why your response doesn't make sense. Why would you rescue me?"
"...right before she brought his hand down and laid her cheek against his palm.
-Rin
"...right before she brought his hand down and laid her cheek against his palm.
His entire body froze and he couldn't take his eyes away from hers as she asked with unfeigned innocence, "How many people have you killed with this hand?""
-Rin
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Insight Essay.
One day, something happened which, in a roundabout way, gave me a clearer insight than I had had before of the true nature of my family's bonds. It was a simple comment that rang the alarm bells in my head. But even before then, small warning signs had been there. The comment came from my sister, who is now thirty-one years of age. I've always wondered if our different inferences of things were just because of the large age gap, but now I'm not so sure.
To completely explain the significance of this event, I'm going to go back to three or four years. At the time, my sister had been married for about four years and lived with her in-laws. My mother had been dead for about six years, and my father had finally gotten over her. He got married quite quickly after he first met my step-mom; they only dated a couple of months before getting engaged. All of us children could see it coming, though. Our parents knew the potential issues that would come with blending our families. My step-mom had three teenage girls, and my dad had my sister and I. However, I don't think that was where the problem originated from. My dad's marriage only revealed the skeletons that were already there before he met my step-mom.
After we all got to know each other, our family life seemed to be going fine. My step-family was adjusting to moving in with us, and I was getting used to sharing a house with four more people. My sister agreed that our new step-mom seemed nice. All of her daughters were also quite compatible with my dad and I. It was only after a few months that we found out one person hadn't accepted the move like the rest of us. One of my step-sisters was angry at her mom for making them move. She was always negative, and would say things behind her mother's back. she also had an outside influence: A boy. Eventually, she moved out to go live with her dad. He had never bothered to be involved in my step-sister's lives before, but she obviously didn't hold it against him. We were all shaken after she left. My sister, of course, didn't live with us. I suppose she thought there was something wrong in our house. I think that's when it all started going downhill.
I've always gone to visit my sister every so often on the weekend to catch up. I'd usually sleepover for a night or two. She also used to visit us once a week, but her visitations started to dwindle a year or two ago. I didn't mind to much, since I still had sleepovers at her house ever now and then. We'd have random conversations about everything: school, church, family, food, and whatever else came up. It was only a year ago that I noticed our conversations in the car started to become more and more serious.
It was little subjects at first. Dad and our step-mom wasn't taking me driving as often as they should so that I could get my N. I tried to explain that one of my step-sisters always had the car for work, but my sister didn't seem to find that a reasonable excuse. She was told not to worry about it; they'd teach me in their own time. I guess my sister and her husband didn't take that very well. It was the first warning sign.
The conversations soon evolved into how Dad and our step-mom made them feel like they weren't immediate family anymore. She also mentioned how Dad never hung out with any of his old friends anymore. Then my sister's husband brought up the fact that they thought there was favouritism in our house. I always brushed the comments aside, saying it was different when you lived with everyone. They never seemed very convinced.
Once I was aware that our family wasn't as nicely blended as it seemed, my sister made an even more startling comment. "You know that if you ever need to get away, you can live with us. You know that, right?" I guess I kind of stared at her for awhile, not knowing what to say. "I don't plan on moving out, but okay", is what I think my reply might've been. The conversation is all kind of blurry in my head now. She went on to tell me that I had been unhappy sometime after Dad got remarried. I didn't recall telling her anything of the sort, so I just shrugged it off. I was perfectly fine with my living conditions. That was the last time we spoke of the topic s we pulled into my driveway.
That night, I had also found out that my sister didn't agree with the way our Dad was "raising" me. I hadn't heard anything of the sort until my sister asked if I had been telling him our our conversations. "I never recall talking to him about that", I told her. I was telling the truth. She told me that he yelled at her over the phone.
I finally knew how disintegrated my sister's and father's relationship was underneath the polite smiles and casual conversations. Just a few months ago, she didn't tell him about her new job, or that she was moving. I was the one who she called first to announce that she was pregnant. All of the little things that built up were brought to my attention to the first time. But it was that one comment that brought me to fully see what was going on.
My sister thought that my situation was so bad at home, I had been tempted to move in with her. But it wasn't about me, really. Her comment somehow triggered the spark that made me realize how badly our family had been communicating with each other; specifically her and our Dad. My "insight" also brought to my attention that no matter how content a family appears to be on the outside, there could easily be negative feelings lurking underneath. I'm in the midst of them even today.
To completely explain the significance of this event, I'm going to go back to three or four years. At the time, my sister had been married for about four years and lived with her in-laws. My mother had been dead for about six years, and my father had finally gotten over her. He got married quite quickly after he first met my step-mom; they only dated a couple of months before getting engaged. All of us children could see it coming, though. Our parents knew the potential issues that would come with blending our families. My step-mom had three teenage girls, and my dad had my sister and I. However, I don't think that was where the problem originated from. My dad's marriage only revealed the skeletons that were already there before he met my step-mom.
After we all got to know each other, our family life seemed to be going fine. My step-family was adjusting to moving in with us, and I was getting used to sharing a house with four more people. My sister agreed that our new step-mom seemed nice. All of her daughters were also quite compatible with my dad and I. It was only after a few months that we found out one person hadn't accepted the move like the rest of us. One of my step-sisters was angry at her mom for making them move. She was always negative, and would say things behind her mother's back. she also had an outside influence: A boy. Eventually, she moved out to go live with her dad. He had never bothered to be involved in my step-sister's lives before, but she obviously didn't hold it against him. We were all shaken after she left. My sister, of course, didn't live with us. I suppose she thought there was something wrong in our house. I think that's when it all started going downhill.
I've always gone to visit my sister every so often on the weekend to catch up. I'd usually sleepover for a night or two. She also used to visit us once a week, but her visitations started to dwindle a year or two ago. I didn't mind to much, since I still had sleepovers at her house ever now and then. We'd have random conversations about everything: school, church, family, food, and whatever else came up. It was only a year ago that I noticed our conversations in the car started to become more and more serious.
It was little subjects at first. Dad and our step-mom wasn't taking me driving as often as they should so that I could get my N. I tried to explain that one of my step-sisters always had the car for work, but my sister didn't seem to find that a reasonable excuse. She was told not to worry about it; they'd teach me in their own time. I guess my sister and her husband didn't take that very well. It was the first warning sign.
The conversations soon evolved into how Dad and our step-mom made them feel like they weren't immediate family anymore. She also mentioned how Dad never hung out with any of his old friends anymore. Then my sister's husband brought up the fact that they thought there was favouritism in our house. I always brushed the comments aside, saying it was different when you lived with everyone. They never seemed very convinced.
Once I was aware that our family wasn't as nicely blended as it seemed, my sister made an even more startling comment. "You know that if you ever need to get away, you can live with us. You know that, right?" I guess I kind of stared at her for awhile, not knowing what to say. "I don't plan on moving out, but okay", is what I think my reply might've been. The conversation is all kind of blurry in my head now. She went on to tell me that I had been unhappy sometime after Dad got remarried. I didn't recall telling her anything of the sort, so I just shrugged it off. I was perfectly fine with my living conditions. That was the last time we spoke of the topic s we pulled into my driveway.
That night, I had also found out that my sister didn't agree with the way our Dad was "raising" me. I hadn't heard anything of the sort until my sister asked if I had been telling him our our conversations. "I never recall talking to him about that", I told her. I was telling the truth. She told me that he yelled at her over the phone.
I finally knew how disintegrated my sister's and father's relationship was underneath the polite smiles and casual conversations. Just a few months ago, she didn't tell him about her new job, or that she was moving. I was the one who she called first to announce that she was pregnant. All of the little things that built up were brought to my attention to the first time. But it was that one comment that brought me to fully see what was going on.
My sister thought that my situation was so bad at home, I had been tempted to move in with her. But it wasn't about me, really. Her comment somehow triggered the spark that made me realize how badly our family had been communicating with each other; specifically her and our Dad. My "insight" also brought to my attention that no matter how content a family appears to be on the outside, there could easily be negative feelings lurking underneath. I'm in the midst of them even today.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
MSN VOICE MESSAGES
Take some getting used to. Yeah. xp
I have to get up at 6am tomorrow to have a shower so I can meet jenny at the school at 7:45 to take pictures for yearbook. xp
And then on WEDNESDAY we're supposed to be at the school at SEVEN AM to go to the pole for some praying event?
Stupid DJ and Sammie are all "THAT'S TOO EARLY"
And I'm like "I WALK AND I'M GOING"
Yeah.
So that's all.
I hate math homework
-leaves-
I have to get up at 6am tomorrow to have a shower so I can meet jenny at the school at 7:45 to take pictures for yearbook. xp
And then on WEDNESDAY we're supposed to be at the school at SEVEN AM to go to the pole for some praying event?
Stupid DJ and Sammie are all "THAT'S TOO EARLY"
And I'm like "I WALK AND I'M GOING"
Yeah.
So that's all.
I hate math homework
-leaves-
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