The Insight Essay.

One day, something happened which, in a roundabout way, gave me a clearer insight than I had had before of the true nature of my family's bonds. It was a simple comment that rang the alarm bells in my head. But even before then, small warning signs had been there. The comment came from my sister, who is now thirty-one years of age. I've always wondered if our different inferences of things were just because of the large age gap, but now I'm not so sure.
To completely explain the significance of this event, I'm going to go back to three or four years. At the time, my sister had been married for about four years and lived with her in-laws. My mother had been dead for about six years, and my father had finally gotten over her. He got married quite quickly after he first met my step-mom; they only dated a couple of months before getting engaged. All of us children could see it coming, though. Our parents knew the potential issues that would come with blending our families. My step-mom had three teenage girls, and my dad had my sister and I. However, I don't think that was where the problem originated from. My dad's marriage only revealed the skeletons that were already there before he met my step-mom.
After we all got to know each other, our family life seemed to be going fine. My step-family was adjusting to moving in with us, and I was getting used to sharing a house with four more people. My sister agreed that our new step-mom seemed nice. All of her daughters were also quite compatible with my dad and I. It was only after a few months that we found out one person hadn't accepted the move like the rest of us. One of my step-sisters was angry at her mom for making them move. She was always negative, and would say things behind her mother's back. she also had an outside influence: A boy. Eventually, she moved out to go live with her dad. He had never bothered to be involved in my step-sister's lives before, but she obviously didn't hold it against him. We were all shaken after she left. My sister, of course, didn't live with us. I suppose she thought there was something wrong in our house. I think that's when it all started going downhill.
I've always gone to visit my sister every so often on the weekend to catch up. I'd usually sleepover for a night or two. She also used to visit us once a week, but her visitations started to dwindle a year or two ago. I didn't mind to much, since I still had sleepovers at her house ever now and then. We'd have random conversations about everything: school, church, family, food, and whatever else came up. It was only a year ago that I noticed our conversations in the car started to become more and more serious.
It was little subjects at first. Dad and our step-mom wasn't taking me driving as often as they should so that I could get my N. I tried to explain that one of my step-sisters always had the car for work, but my sister didn't seem to find that a reasonable excuse. She was told not to worry about it; they'd teach me in their own time. I guess my sister and her husband didn't take that very well. It was the first warning sign.
The conversations soon evolved into how Dad and our step-mom made them feel like they weren't immediate family anymore. She also mentioned how Dad never hung out with any of his old friends anymore. Then my sister's husband brought up the fact that they thought there was favouritism in our house. I always brushed the comments aside, saying it was different when you lived with everyone. They never seemed very convinced.
Once I was aware that our family wasn't as nicely blended as it seemed, my sister made an even more startling comment. "You know that if you ever need to get away, you can live with us. You know that, right?" I guess I kind of stared at her for awhile, not knowing what to say. "I don't plan on moving out, but okay", is what I think my reply might've been. The conversation is all kind of blurry in my head now. She went on to tell me that I had been unhappy sometime after Dad got remarried. I didn't recall telling her anything of the sort, so I just shrugged it off. I was perfectly fine with my living conditions. That was the last time we spoke of the topic s we pulled into my driveway.
That night, I had also found out that my sister didn't agree with the way our Dad was "raising" me. I hadn't heard anything of the sort until my sister asked if I had been telling him our our conversations. "I never recall talking to him about that", I told her. I was telling the truth. She told me that he yelled at her over the phone.
I finally knew how disintegrated my sister's and father's relationship was underneath the polite smiles and casual conversations. Just a few months ago, she didn't tell him about her new job, or that she was moving. I was the one who she called first to announce that she was pregnant. All of the little things that built up were brought to my attention to the first time. But it was that one comment that brought me to fully see what was going on.
My sister thought that my situation was so bad at home, I had been tempted to move in with her. But it wasn't about me, really. Her comment somehow triggered the spark that made me realize how badly our family had been communicating with each other; specifically her and our Dad. My "insight" also brought to my attention that no matter how content a family appears to be on the outside, there could easily be negative feelings lurking underneath. I'm in the midst of them even today.